Item 1: I have a Bad Cat. Her name is Sterling, and she is spoiled rotten, which I'm sure adds to her bad behavior. Sterling has made it clear that she is to be my one and only pet. No one else is welcome. Unfortunately, she makes this clear via various bodily functions, the grossest of which is pee.
Item 2a: How do I know she makes this clear? I once got her a kitten for company, thinking that with a kitten she could definitely be the alpha female. What did I get? A cat guarding her (my) bedroom like it's the last trench before the enemy overruns her kingdom. And pee. And poop. And puke. Oh, yes. I spent two weeks spending probably close to $100 dollars on laundry.
Item 2b: When Sterling was only a few years old and living with my Mom and sister, she was already Queen, but she wasn't quite filled with her full-on sense of superiority yet. My sister got a puppy. Not just a puppy; a Cocker Spaniel puppy. A puppy who woke up every day with the renewed, optimistic feeling that he could make Sterling be his very bestest friend in the whole wide world. Sterling did not agree. Day after day after day, she did not agree. This resulted in some secret peeing, but mostly hiding. High up, far out of the puppy's reach.
Item 3: I volunteer at the Seattle Animal Shelter, and I work with the Critter Team. The Critter Team cares for all of the animals that aren't dogs or cats. Keep in mind that SAS is also Seattle Animal Control, so we get all sorts of critters. We've had goats, peacocks, a hedgehog, guinea pigs, mice, hamsters, rats, gerbils, pigs, chickens, snakes, and the list goes on and on. We also get lots and lots and lots of rabbits. Right around Christmas, many people went out of their way to be extra jerky. Within about two weeks, we had four quite elderly rabbits dropped off. **Just a moment to rant. Who DOES that? Who has a pet, and when it gets old, drops it off at an animal shelter? Who DOES that?** Anyway, the average age of a rabbit is seven. Within a day of each other, we had a seven-year-old and an eight-year-old dropped off.
Item 4: Mischa is the eight-year-old rabbit. To be realistic, no one is going to adopt her. Maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised, but most people do not want to adopt a rabbit who might not be around much longer. So I have decided to take her home and foster her.
Reason for Hope: Okay, I'm trying to keep my expectations low. In order not to jinx myself, all I'm hoping for is for them to tolerate and ignore each other. So...
1) Sterling and Mischa are the same size.
2) Sterling and Mischa are the same color (which means nothing, except I think it's cool).
3) Sterling and Mischa have the same two favorite activities: eating and sleeping.
4) Mischa will be contained in her own little pen, while Sterling will have the run of the house.
5) Mischa is not annoying. See # 3.
Proactive Action: After years with Sterling, I am now an expert in Proactive Sterling Action. She manages to get creative and fool me once in a while, but I can mostly head off the worst of it.
1) Embarrassingly, Sterling is on an anti-anxiety medication. I know, it sounds so yuppie. So, so yuppie. But her peeing has dramatically decreased while she's been on it.
2) Shower curtains: I cover everything with shower curtains. They protect furniture from pee, poop and puke, and are thick enough that the smell doesn't leak through, either.
3) $40 of quarters for laundry, just in case.
So folks, wish me luck. I'll be updating this blog often, with photos and video clips. It should be highly entertaining. For you.
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