Skunks and Bugs

Back in the fall, I mentioned that there are a lot of skunks here, judging by the smell.  However, "a lot of skunks" does not do this issue justice.  People, I am smelling skunk at least two nights a week.  Even in winter.  Why are all of these skunks here and, more importantly, who is setting them off?!  Can there actually be people and/or animals in Newburyport who have not yet learned their skunky lesson?  Are there people out there who don't freeze like a statue when they see a skunk?  I saw one a few months ago as I was taking an evening walk, and I stood stock still for a good five minutes even after the skunk was gone.  I swear the skunks outnumber the dogs.  Are there ding-dong dogs who are willing to chase a skunk more than once?

Of course, it could be some sort of sick skunk joke.  Perhaps they got together and decided, "Oh, look at this cute town.  Let us destroy it with our stink!  Mwa ha ha ha ha!"  I just don't know.  It's weird.  And smelly.

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Bugs.  There are bugs here.  "Of course, stupid," you say.  But you must remember that I just spent 11 years in Seattle.  There are almost no bugs there.  (In Seattle, not the entire Puget Sound area.)  Many people don't even have screens on their windows, that's how bugless it is.  I usually got a couple of spiders each winter, but that was it.

Now I am inundated with bugs, and I'm told that I haven't seen the worst of it.  That there are swarms of huge flies that are going to come and bite huge chunks out of my flesh.  But until then, I still have big, black ants that I haven't seen since I-don't-even-know-when; mosquitos (itchy bug bites!); ladybugs; and other various flyers and creepy-crawlers.  Luckily I don't mind bugs (until they bite/sting me).  It was just a shock to remember they exist.

And so I am back to buying citronella candles (I always want to say "salmonella" candles -- ha!) and Off.

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Skunks and bugs.  Aren't you just chomping at the bit to come visit me?